Friendly Frederick Fraukx - Wizard of Oz Frog T-Shirt

Friendly Frederick Fraukx - Wizard of Oz Frog T-Shirt

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Friendly Frederick Fraukx "Wizard of Oz" Dandy Fashion Frog Shirt


Folks don't give us frogs enough credit, we're not all Toads you know... you would think all we do is sit around the jungle pond catching flies with our bifid tonque, burping and croaking up the rain forest... and while I suppose we can't blame you for thinking that way (you humans are notoriously out of touch with your environment)... but us lillpad lurkers are much more than lazy lizards!

It's likely you don't realize that frogs can walk on two legs... most speak multiple languages (including English), and we ALL love to sing and dance if so inclined. You may have caught an act occassionaly... the Bugs Bunny show once introduced Michigan J. Frog and his Fred Astaire tap-dancing gig. That was my cousin, one of the great amphibians of our life cycle... man, could he jump!

It's true, most frogs are actually talented individuals like myself, Frederick Fraukx... Dandy Fashion Designer to the stars! I revolutionized the entire frog species by creating exceptional outfits that enhanced our top hat and cane performances... we all make a ton of money now, doing what we love, dancing the night away in Las Vegas! It sure beats those Oz gigs, lemme tell ya... the Wizard is a stingy old bastard!

Needless to say, it wasn't easy at first... I hired foreign custom tailors from the various amphibian AND reptile clans... we made dozens of outfits to fit frogs of every size, shape and style... even those fat bullfrogs and stupid psychedelic back-licking toads, we even made those mothers look gooood!

We finally started to get some momentum in the human world, thanks to Bugs Bunny (Warner Brothers), Kermit the Frog (Sesame Street / The Muppet Show) and a few other... but unfortunately there's always a few disgraceful lowbrow exceptions that end up getting most of the attention... the Budweiser Frogs, damn those stupid muppets... they played right into the stereotype, exploiting our kind for profit and fame... sent us right back to the stone age... may their tadpoles keep their tails for life!

And yet another unfortunate setback, we had a French company interested in our fashion distribution... they offered us a treasure of francs for, what was to be, a huge fashion photo shoot... they flew many of our professional frog models to Paris (including the infamous "Frogger"), with intention to shoot at the Eiffel Tower, and really introduce our new clothing line into the Euro fashion world... it was unfortunately, too good to be true.

First brought to my attention by the FCLU (Frog Civil Liberties Union), they were calling them "Cuisses de Grenouille"... those dirty rats ruthlessly killed them all, tore them limb-from-limb, set them on fire and then photographed their mutilated bodies... it was a massacre... they used our models to promote "Frog Legs" on their cuisine menus! Excuse me, I can't even bear to recall the story.

So it turns out, advancing an intelligent civilization is no easy task... you can do the best, be the best... but you will always be up against others who are not practicing the same ideals. So the next time you see a dancing vaudville frog in a top-hat, or an old vet trying to cross the road through heavy traffic... don't just grab him and lick his back... instead, comment on his clothing, give him a compliment.

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